Sometime, i hate the procceses. It really make me so tired.
But, i have to pass it. And if i can do this, i will get the better personality, even the maturity. Because, as we know, maturity is not depend on the age.

There are 2 case, that we have to think. Married and work. Why i say like that? Because more of half of out life will depend on that case.

Yah.. this is like my man and i. We think we have to pass the proccesses, because we will live together along our life. We will married and became a supermom and superdad. So, we think that we have to pass it. It makes us be better amd ofcourse be mature and be wise. We cant live together if we still stay at our ego.
But, just for you know, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MYMAN!!

When someone ask me, what is your hobby titin?? And, how stupid i am if i cant answer it. But, its so true, that i am not really know what my hobby is.n
When i say, my hobby is basketball.. wew!! I juat did it when i was in junior high school and senior high school. And, after that, i've never done that again...
I say, my hobby is watching movie. Wew! So, what kind movie do you like? I dont know.. how come? You like wacthing tv, but you cant identifying genre of the movie that you like. Even my knowledge about movie is so so so bad. I am just enjoy the movie, when i am really2 want yo watching movie,
Or, maybe, my hobby is writting. Hhahahhaha....if my hobby is writting, how come, i cant choose the vocabulary that suitable in its situation? And i have very awful sentence.
Or mg hobby is travelling. So, where is the destination that you have visited?hahhaha if course i cant answer it,
Or, what is ur hobby titin? Reading. I was so in love with read the book, when i was child. Bobo, comics "slamdunk", ghoostbump, fear street. Wow..how i miss that book.
But now? I hare reading. Because it makes me so sleepy. I think sandra brown is the best author from america. Eiittss.. wait,, not the best, because i am just know this author.

Even so, i am just loving one novel..yah.. i love the novel that have an author SANDRA BROWN. I think, this is romantic novel that make me feel if i've taken a part in that story. She is realy the great america's author. And if we read her web , www.sandrabrown.net , we know that se is really great author who has published 70 romantics and thriller suspense novels and more than 50 novels become New York Timess best seller. Wow!! She is very inspiting woman!!

September, 28th 2013, there is no different in my life. Hmmmff,,, it is still same like yesterday.. sometime i feel like mummy, because i dont have something to think hard, i dont have soul for doing something. I just doing everything that i face without feeling. Oh my god!! This is the f*ckin life,,,,,,
Yah...dont know to say.. because i think i am too tired to have this feeling. Too tired that say i am useless.
I have tried to do my best for every people i love,i have tried eveything..i have prayed, but i haven't reached everything i want yet..

idamn! Sometime i am so angry with God,,, yah... i am just a prayer but also a sinner.. i think i have prayed,, i have tried..but always fail.
Yah.. may be i am not be allowed to work a big company... evenless in multinational company. I always fail in the last selection. Damn! I hate it. It was so aaaaaarrrgggg.. of course i am disaapointed.
But, when i get a job, the job that not suitable for me. There is no feel at first. How come i can work at there.

And now, i am just need support from very people i love.every people around me. Maybe, they also feel tired like me. So, they look such dont care with me. Even, there is the other problem around us. And it almost happen in our relationship.. aaaaahhhh the f**kin situation. Sometime its better to feel nothing. Just enjoy everything. But, its not easy.

Aaaaahhhh... maybe, when the day is closer to us, there is too many problem. It such like an examine for us..

September 2013. It means that this year will be end in 3months later.
9months , but to much happened in my life that make me like now. From the saddest one until the happiest one.
Sometime i feel that the saddest one is the real of the fuckmoment in my life. Yah....just to clear everything that happened, and clear my position in that situation, i had to leave my job, i had to resign my job.. and now, after i have cleared all,,and all has gonna be oke,,, they dont care about me later.. they dont remember, who has contributed in all side in their businnes. Yaah,,,, that was the stupid decision that i had made and make me existed in this fuck momet.
If i heard my family's advice, it shouldnt happen. If i though about it twice, it shouldnt happen. If i though that there is no income like when i had a job, or if i though that job i hv choosed is not better than i had in that sitution. Aaaarrgghh,, to much if, but there's no if. Everything has happened. And this is very the real fuckmoment. Now, there is no income for me, feel so useless, feel so stupid, feel so small, and feel so.... aaaaarrgghhhhhhh..... damn!
Just wanna angry, but with whom. Hate them? That cant change this situation.
Oke... i just can take the positive side. Everything that happen right now make me more realize than before..i am not anyone. May be,i was so arogant before. And now, i am really realize that i am not anyone.
I just try to be better than before. Try to apply in to many company. Yah,,, start from zero again.
Sometimes, i just angry with my self for everything happen,, i have tried, but there is no succes in my life.. yah.. i am so tired, and i almost give up. It will waste my time, if i just looked the past. I have to think about now and tomorrow. But,i almost give up.
There is no enlightment for me. And oh my god.. till when?? Sometime its too tired to say that i am oke, its too tired to say that im strong enough. Hmmff.., its better to feel nothing. But, i cant. :(
Please God, show me that Ur plans are better than my dream.. i am really really give up...

But, thx God, U still love me, U send me a guy who loved me, and care about me. Sometime, i couldnt imagine why it is happen. But, this is real make "my life".. this is make my life being more colourful.

March 15th 2013, was th beautiful day in my life. Ya.. my life start from that day. Although, i was so fear in that day,,fear in the beginning. But you can convinced me, you can make me feel more saver than before. Make me felt be needed by you,, you always make me feel love you more than before. Yah.. you!! The guy who full of surprise. And i love...

May 25th 2013, was being the more beautiful day than before. Tha day was so surprised for me, you really convinced me. I loved the real gentleman. And you did it. Maybe many people think that it was so fast. Yah.,, so fast for people that dont know anything about us. But, i dont care what people said, it is not about them, i, you. It is about us. Only us that know about us.

September 22th 2013, was being the more beautiful than before. Yah.. with you, my day alwaya being more beautiful than before. Although, there is so many crash between us, but thx God, we always solve that problem by our selves. When, the problem has came, we have to solve it that day,,so we dont need extend the problem. Because problem is to be solved not to be extended. And in that day, september 22th 2013, it means that this is one step closer. On step closer for us. Yah,,,, because, we are not talk about between us, but between two family, ur family and mine,

December 28th 2013, will be the nice day for us. Although, i will not be free like before, but i love it. Yah... i just wanna grow old with u my Andrean Budi Nugroho.m

Ya.. kopi.,.
Sesempurnanya orang membuat kopi, sehebat hebatnya roaster merosting kopi dan barista meracik kopi, tetap aja akan mempunyai sisi pahitnya.
Bgitu juga hidup... sesempurnanya hidup, tetap aja akan sisi pahitny..gag akan pernah bisa yang benae-benar sempurna,,,
Sama seperti esspreso, sesempurna apapun seorang barista menciptakan 14 ml espresso, namun ktika kita tak mampu dan dan tau cara menikmatinya, maka ttap saja terasa pahit.
Tapi, kalau kita tahu bagaimana menikmatinya, espresso itu tak lagi phit, tapi istimewa

November dan hujan.
hal ini sudah biasa, dan selalu membuat hati merasa deg-degan ketika sudah mendekati bulan desember.

tahun 2012 ini banyak banget kenangan yang ga tau kenapa kyknya kenangan manis itu hanya mampir.
 buanyak banget kenangan di 2012, mulai dari karir maupun cinta..

complicated year,, i think.

Keetika memasuki bulan desember,  bulan yang selalu aku tunggu, entah karena apa, aku merasa aku harus tegas dengan segala hidupku.
Meninggalkan segala yang ketidakjelasan, meninggalakan segala yang menhambatku dalam karir dan cinta.
Sehingga Desember ini bener-bener akan emnjadi my december.


Meninggalkan teman dan cinta.
Yah, entah mengapa itu adalah keputusan terbaik dalam hidupku selama ini.

Now, I just wanna enjoy my december by my self.

aku hanya ingin terlahir menjadi manusia yang baru, tanpa harus menengok kebelakang.

Biarlah semua tersimpan dalam kaledoskop hidupku.

Dan sekarang aku mensyukuri hidupku sekarang. Bersama pekerjaan yang mungkin bukanlah pekerjaan yang bisa dibanggakan. Namun aku bersyukur.
Pekerjaan ini membuat aku mengenali lingkungan aku.
Pekerjaan ini membuat aku semakin lebih bersyukur

Pekerjaan ini membuat aku bertemu dengan teman-teman yang sangat aku sayangi dan menyayangi aku.

aku berharap benar-benar bisa menyambut 2013 dengan lebih baik.
Mungkin doaku di akhir tahun adalah agar aku bisa melupakan segala yang ada, melupakan bahwa aku pernah mengenal dia. Aku berharap, 2013 akan benar-benar menjadi tahunku.

Segala kejadian yang aku alami semoga cukup untuk mendewasakan aku dan mengenali lingkungan sekitarku.